"You've got a friend in me, You've got a friend in me"

"You've got troubles, well I've got 'em too
There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you
We stick together and we see it through
Yeah, you've got a friend in me"
--Toy Story

So, I haven't updated in a couple days, and someone commented on that and told me I need to post again! These past few days have actually been REALLY good. I've been feeling pretty happy. The other night/morning when I couldn't sleep (between the hours of 4 and 6:30 am) I decided to clean my room--it was a MESS before, and it is absolute glory now...I even vacuumed and organized all my drawers and whatnot. And I've created a new rule for myself and my friends: anything you move from its original spot, or take out of a drawer MUST be returned back to that place once you are finished with it. And speaking of my friends, I have two of the most amazing best friends in the whole wide world. No joke though, they're really amazing. They have been here for me and supported me through all of my shit and all of my depression, no matter what--and I know how obnoxious it can be to hear someone complaining for such a long period of time. And for all that, I thank them. On top of loving their support, I also have a shit ton of fun with them--whether it's painting our nails, drinking wine, watching American Idol gives back, or exercising (which is something I despise doing), I can enjoy myself if they're around. So I'd like to make this post mostly a tribute to them. Tomorrow, the three of us are going to Brushstrokes because I've decided to confront that girl that works there and give her my number--their support is extremely necessary...OBVIOUSLY. And while we're there, we're gonna paint a "BFF" bowl or plate or something...yeah, we're dorks like that. And then tomorrow night is Fetish Ball, which I know isn't their scene at all, but I'm forcing them to go--just for a little while at least. And then from Saturday morning till mid-Sunday, we're hopefully going to Pacific Grove, which is where Kristofferson lives...and Janis, her boyfriend and my really good friend, will be there so we're gonna crash at his place, I believe. I've caught up on all my work because of them...Kristofferson and I sat at l'Amyx for 5+/- hours the other day just doing homework--and getting distracted with conversation from time to time. And Mermaid has been pushing me really hard to do my work, and she has been keeping me from procrastinating. All in all, if you two are reading this, I love you both more than you know it, thank you for EVERYTHING.

Over and Out,
J-Money

"Love is not a victory march, it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah"

I am overwhelmed--no, overwhelmed doesn't even begin to describe how I'm feeling...I don't think there is one, lonely word that can describe my current state. These past few weeks have been some of the roughest of my life. I watched my father experience a kind of pain that nobody should experience, but that everybody does experience at some point in life...I watched my grandmother die. I got my heart broken by a friend, who I thought would always be here for me. And I realized that my abuse of alcohol has grown. Why is it so easy to forget your pain and fears when you're drunk? I used to do it with drugs, and with sex and abusive relationships...it never stops. My friend and current hookup buddy, Jack Daniels, has been making this even more obvious for me. She's telling me that my priorities are fucked and that my drinking is out of control...I know this already, and I sure as hell don't need her rubbing it in my face even more.

Anyways, I should probably list the good things that are happening in my life: I had an amazing workout with Kristofferson and Pancake this morning, and we made pizza last night, then watched Coco Before Chanel--that was lots of fun...but I fell asleep during the movie. Went dancing thursday night with Pancake, Mermaid, and Pigeon...then I found out that Pigeon is engaged--what the fuck?? She spent the night hooking up with me, and then told me--via mother fucking text-- that she's engaged!!! Way to fuck with my emotions.----okay so I guess that's not really a positive...Let's get back to the positives: last weekend, I had possibly the best weekend of my life...no joke. It consisted of seeing a midnight movie at the Piedmont movie theater (Jurassic Park), drinking butt loads of champagne, going to Fairyland with Mermaid and Pancake and her little brothers, and putting together a suuuuper awesome easter egg hunt for Mermaid, Joni Mitchell, Kristofferson, and Mustache City--the egg hunt was in the rain, which made it more fun (at least for me). This weekend was pretty decent as well, aside for getting pretty torn up by Pigeon, and arguing with JD.

I know that these "code names" that I've given people are pretty ridiculous, but I think that they add some sort of humor to the post...and each of them has a meaning behind it. Eventually, I'll start shortening the names, but for now, this is how you'll get to know these people.

I'm stressed out of my god damn mind... I have a paper due Tuesday that I already got a week long extension on, and I haven't fucking started it. I also have another paper that's weeks overdue that I should probably get started on. On top of that, I owe $260 to my school from all the parking tickets that I have...they're letting me pay it back through work, but $260 is equivalent to 26 hours of work...my schedule this weekend is soooo fucked. I also have to change my major from French to Child Development, and my minor from Anthropology to French--I should've done this a long time ago, but I've been procrastinating because I know that my current advisor--whom I absolutely love--is going to be heart broken by my change of major.

This is my first post here...I'm sorry it's so long, I've just had a lot to say. Please feel free to comment whatever you'd like to say--I'm open to any comments. And thanks for reading... The drama will continue, I can assure you.