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Sunday, April 11, 2010

"Love is not a victory march, it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah"

I am overwhelmed--no, overwhelmed doesn't even begin to describe how I'm feeling...I don't think there is one, lonely word that can describe my current state. These past few weeks have been some of the roughest of my life. I watched my father experience a kind of pain that nobody should experience, but that everybody does experience at some point in life...I watched my grandmother die. I got my heart broken by a friend, who I thought would always be here for me. And I realized that my abuse of alcohol has grown. Why is it so easy to forget your pain and fears when you're drunk? I used to do it with drugs, and with sex and abusive never stops. My friend and current hookup buddy, Jack Daniels, has been making this even more obvious for me. She's telling me that my priorities are fucked and that my drinking is out of control...I know this already, and I sure as hell don't need her rubbing it in my face even more.

Anyways, I should probably list the good things that are happening in my life: I had an amazing workout with Kristofferson and Pancake this morning, and we made pizza last night, then watched Coco Before Chanel--that was lots of fun...but I fell asleep during the movie. Went dancing thursday night with Pancake, Mermaid, and Pigeon...then I found out that Pigeon is engaged--what the fuck?? She spent the night hooking up with me, and then told me--via mother fucking text-- that she's engaged!!! Way to fuck with my emotions.----okay so I guess that's not really a positive...Let's get back to the positives: last weekend, I had possibly the best weekend of my joke. It consisted of seeing a midnight movie at the Piedmont movie theater (Jurassic Park), drinking butt loads of champagne, going to Fairyland with Mermaid and Pancake and her little brothers, and putting together a suuuuper awesome easter egg hunt for Mermaid, Joni Mitchell, Kristofferson, and Mustache City--the egg hunt was in the rain, which made it more fun (at least for me). This weekend was pretty decent as well, aside for getting pretty torn up by Pigeon, and arguing with JD.

I know that these "code names" that I've given people are pretty ridiculous, but I think that they add some sort of humor to the post...and each of them has a meaning behind it. Eventually, I'll start shortening the names, but for now, this is how you'll get to know these people.

I'm stressed out of my god damn mind... I have a paper due Tuesday that I already got a week long extension on, and I haven't fucking started it. I also have another paper that's weeks overdue that I should probably get started on. On top of that, I owe $260 to my school from all the parking tickets that I have...they're letting me pay it back through work, but $260 is equivalent to 26 hours of schedule this weekend is soooo fucked. I also have to change my major from French to Child Development, and my minor from Anthropology to French--I should've done this a long time ago, but I've been procrastinating because I know that my current advisor--whom I absolutely love--is going to be heart broken by my change of major.

This is my first post here...I'm sorry it's so long, I've just had a lot to say. Please feel free to comment whatever you'd like to say--I'm open to any comments. And thanks for reading... The drama will continue, I can assure you.

1 comment:

  1. hey lady, i got a bloggg!
    i just wanted to say that i love you :)
    it's time to get overwhelmed with looveee